Lately

 

Life seems to be in hyper speed these days.  I looked at the date of the last post and I can’t believe it has been that long.  Life is going well and Maddi is improving.

In the last little bit Maddi has learned to ride a bike again!  It was actually a very ironic picture.  When I  said that she has to relearn everything I wasn’t kidding.  Gratefully, the learning curve is pretty quick but who would have thought I would be holding the back of a bike at this stage of my life.

Maddi did great.  I was really there for moral support and to help her with balance.  It was one of the first beautiful spring days we had in Cache Valley, so all the parents were out with their little ones and the bike rituals.  Across the street there were two other families teaching their children to ride a bike, granted their children fit into the early childhood category not the teen scene. 

If I hadn’t been so grateful that Maddi was able to learn to ride a bike, I might have found the picture saddening.  For a moment I thought of how unfair it was but then I saw our new van.

Stay with me and you will see why the van fits.  At the time we replaced the wrecked car we asked the specialists at Primary Children’s if they could predict our transportation needs for the future. 

I wanted to buy something inexpensive to help our finances,(I am a frugal, thrifty, cheapskate) but after looking at the projections we had only a few options to look at and buying an old vehicle was not an option. 

We were told that Maddi would need a wheelchair even with the best possible outcome at least for a while and they couldn’t promise that she wouldn’t need it forever.

Armed with that information we researched which vehicles would be easily fitted for a wheelchair ramp and other necessities.  We knew that buying a new vehicle in the future wasn’t going to happen so we had to plan for the worst with this purchase.

That vehicle journey was actually a lesson in acceptance.  We had to look at reality and go with what we knew without all the hope of a different outcome.  We came home with a very new, well stocked vehicle because of it and gratefully we don’t need the retrofit that was the determining factor in its purchase.

So, as I was holding the back of bike and I looked around, I did see all the little ones learning but when my gaze landed on the van I was reminded of the huge blessing it was that she could even get on the bike.

As she pedaled away from me with the wobbly balance of a novice biker;

• I was reminded of the hours I spent rubbing her legs trying to help her “find” them in her brain. 
• I remembered her first steps and all the time we spent “dancing” to develop the strength in those leg muscles. 
• I remember the many days spent in Physical Therapy hoping that she would kick the ball only to be left waiting again. 
• I remembered when those legs were still and unable to move.

It was actually much like one of those film collages that you see that takes you through the important events of the whole story.  I was so grateful for the moments that led to her learning to ride once more.

I am such a reflective person that the parallel immediately came to my mind that in mortality our progress has little to do with anyone else.  What we need and what we are learning have everything to do with our own journey.

It doesn’t matter if we learn the lesson when we are three, thirteen or thirty as long as we learn it. Comparing is always a lose/lose exercise. 

I was just glad that Maddi’s recovery allowed for me to hold the back of a bike.

This journey reinforces daily the idea of perspective.  If I look at Maddi’s recovery based on where she was prior to the accident the darkness can rise from the corners of my mind. 

However, if I look based on what it “should” have been I am overwhelmed that God would take so much interest in my burden and provide such a great miracle!

If I look at what is, I see my beautiful daughter and I am grateful that I get to walk this road with her, step by step, as she relearns so many old skills and the new ones.  As a result, I am learning too!

Strength comes from many places but in a journey like this one the adage of  “if he asks you to tarry a mile, tarry with him two”  has new meaning.   Having friends and family to journey with makes the walk seem light and the days seem short. 

Knowing that when the Lord said these words I know he is the perfect example of the idea of “tarrying”.  He has walked the miles with us and carried us most of the way.

Life is good!