Reflections in Kindness and Unity

 

I have been reflecting on our experience wanting to be sure I have documented everything that I know one day will be lost in my memory. This experience can be described with so many adjectives, both positive and negative. I am not to the point that I am grateful for my “trials” as people say. I don’t think I will ever be. I can be grateful for the lessons learned and for the beautiful parts and the miraculous outcome, but never to repeat. (I know I am a rebellious sort!)

In fact, if I had the chance to go back in time I would eat that bowl of soup that was waiting on my stove for me. I would relax in my chair after a long day shopping. I would not worry about saving $10 on a pair of Levi’s.

I would bask in the safety of my four little walls with my little family and be content. I would be happy to live my whole life without ever knowing this journey at all but I can’t deny the impact and adjustment it has made to my life. I want to remember all of the wonderful, beautiful parts of this journey and forget the heartache. With my memory, I might just have a chance!

My last post talked about the financial hardship we are enduring because of my inability to work but as I was writing that post examples of the many tender mercies extended to us kept flooding over me like the torrential waters of our rivers this year. I want to remember every wave, drop and ripple in the water of kindness.

We have been blessed by so many generous people; friends, family, neighbors and complete strangers. For me it was unbelievable that people would sacrifice for our needs.

I am a giver and am far more comfortable giving to others than receiving. I still feel unsure what to say besides a sincere thank you. There is no way to convey how much that eased our burden at that time.

We spent nearly $2000 just in fuel to get to the hospital for those 65 days not to mention the food. We were given several gift cards for the café at the hospital. Those small rectangular pieces of plastic gave us such peace. If we hadn’t had those gift cards I don’t think I would have eaten at all because of the cost. We left the hospital with $20 left on one of those cards and Maddi found someone who needed it. It was gratifying to see the relief found on their face when we passed on the love.

My colleagues and families at my school pooled their limited resources together and it helped pay part of our mortgage one month. After paying for gas we were left short and they made up the rest and the timing was perfect.

Another time a dear family friend came and gave me a card and in it was the exact amount for something we desperately needed at the time. Just two days before that I had been on my knees expressing frustration, need and faith knowing and hoping the Lord would provide for us. He came through once again.

We were given a basket in the early days at the hospital. We were still in the PICU (pediatric intensive care), and we couldn’t really bring a lot in the room with Maddi. We left the basket in the waiting room. We shared the contents of that basket with others living their worst nightmare. Before Christmas, that basket was refilled 3 times. I don’t know by whom, but I remember the joy I felt when I would walk through and see someone with something from the “basket”, staring off into the distance fighting their private demons.

I was grateful I didn’t have to ask someone for water or have to walk the seemingly four blocks through a guarded station to get some. I am so grateful for the thoughtful person who brought that basket in the first place. I wouldn’t have thought of it, but it was invaluable and I was happy to share it. I consider it a loaves and fishes experience.

All of those donations and those I haven’t specifically mentioned, regardless of how large or small it seemed to you, made a huge impact for us. We cannot begin to express our gratitude for the much needed blessings. No one wants to be in such desperate need but to see the outpouring of love is unbelievable. I hope that the blessings were added upon in their lives. Many of the donations we received were of an anonymous nature.

I remember one that was just in an envelope that said, “My uncle manages a Wal-Mart in Wyoming.” Included was a gift card that I gave to my kids at home so they could buy groceries and household items they needed while I was away. I am lucky that my kids are so responsible. That gift card took care of the milk, eggs, perishable veggies and fruit (and probably toilet paper).

I did not buy one Christmas gift. Every gift that my children opened was given out of love for them and us. I actually can’t remember much of that day but I do remember being overwhelmed with gratitude for the kindness. I couldn’t have mustered up the energy to face a cheery Christmas crowd. My life was surrounded in worry and shock, that even twinkling lights and delightful music couldn’t penetrate.

I had dear friends that invited my children to dinner and cleaned my house. Dinners were brought into my home many times while we were in the hospital. I was not there to personally benefit but it was comforting for me to know that my children were cared for even though they were capable.

I had a dear friend fly in to be with my kids while we were away at a most critical time. They were in shock and hurting too. I feel so blessed to be surrounded by so many great friends.

Our shelves, fridge and freezer were stocked with food that we have needed so dearly! We are still eating the meat given to us during that time. If not for that generosity we would now be vegetarians or more accurately eating just a grain based diet.

Thank goodness for the wisdom of Prophets to ask us to have food storage. It is amazing how many different ways you can make rice and beans. We like them best plain. I know it isn’t the best for getting into your skinny jeans but getting by is way more important than the size of your waist!

We were surprised and humbled by glittering jars of coins at the base of our sad little Christmas tree on Christmas Eve. It served two purposes for us. The first is obvious but the second was that our little family spent Christmas Eve sorting coins. It gave us something to focus on besides what was different or missing. The mindlessness of sorting nickels, pennies, dimes and quarters did a great job numbing our minds and it kept us from thinking about the situation. It was hard to feel like celebrating at all.

What surprised me the most was that people cared enough about us to take the time to gather up their coins. We really try to be invisible, we don’t want to bring any attention to ourselves and so we don’t expect people to be all that invested. So much for flying under the radar! It taught me that we influence people every day just by breathing. You never know who is watching from a far.

So many people reached out to us in kindness. Many of these people were only known to me through this blog. I am so grateful my sister was brilliant enough to suggest the idea of a blog. It was sheer genius! What started out as a way to give information to others became a support for me through your comments of encouragement. Thank you!

The examples of monetary value pale in comparison to the emotional support we were given. That support was given through hugs, prayers, cards, thoughts, phone calls, emails special fasts and candles lit in churches in different countries and religion and dear friend’s homes. Each one of the heartfelt expressions of love overwhelmed me. I never expected that kind of outpouring of love. Like I said I am much more comfortable loving people than being loved.

I was utterly amazed at how many of our friends came to see us in the hospital some of them multiple times in the stretched out weeks. It is a long road from our house and even during a busy Christmas season, with hugely expensive gas prices our friends took the time and spent the money to visit us.

Of course, we had a constant presence of family support but that requires another post.

It may have seemed small to them but for those of us “incarcerated” their visits kept us sane! Knowing that we were cared for and loved made all the difference.

The sheer abundance of kindness and generosity is overwhelming when you put it all in one place. It is a testament to the goodness of people in general. This world has lots of questionable things going on right now but the divine goodness of people will never be questioned by me.

I stand in awe at the generosity and the sheer kindness of people, humbled that we were the recipients of such a pure love of Christ in our time of need. All people, crossing all boundaries have innate beauty and compassion in them.

I wish I could adequately share the vision of the type of unity that was created in this situation. People of all walks of life, religion, political persuasion, culture and beliefs saw our human need had compassion and acted. I am grateful for each one.

Not only did people of my own religion support us but whole communities from different religions. This experience gave me a sacred glimpse of unity that one day will be and I know that it is possible.

What a beautiful picture of……

 UNITY IN CHRIST

PEACE ON EARTH

GOODWILL TO MAN