Remembering By Maddi

I remember................ many things. I said, "I remember all things." when I first started talking but that is not really true. I do remember that I was scared when the accident happened. I remember taking my first breath in the car because my mom told me that I needed to breathe and that is the truth.

• I saw my life flash before my eyes.
• I saw happiness, family and love.
• I saw my mom and I crying when Jacob left on his mission. They were a mixture of tears of happiness for him going to serve the Lord but sadness because we would miss him a lot.
• I saw our family trip to Yellowstone and how much fun we had together.
• I saw Brooke and I at the annual cousin sleepover that my second cousin Shannon hosts.
• I saw my dad and I in friendly bantering over who loves each other the most. I win with Eternally, After All, Forever, More!
• I saw Mason and I playing in the "spaceship" wagon.
• I saw myself cross stiching with Grandma Sanders.
• I saw our family camping at Tabby Shadows with the Scotts.
• I saw Sam and I getting really hyper off of perfume that we call "highspray".

After all the reminiscing, I remember riding in the ambulance with my dad. I remember my dad saying that it would be OK. I felt good to know that dad thought that I would live through it and that he was with me. I felt loved.

I remember the helicopter ride. I was thinking, "Am I going to die or am I going to live?" It was cool being in a helicopter for the first time but not the best circumstances.

The answer to that question is... that I lived. My dad was right and I still love him Eternally, After All, Forever More. I love my family the most, no matter what anyone says!

I have always been a little quirky but now I am really quirky. I just feel different, not that it is good or bad, it is just different. I am Maddi 2.0 ( That is what my dad calls me. I think it is kind of cute.)

• I find myself staring off into space a lot! Before staring off was rare but now it is not only common but easy and often.
• Before I could eat and drink without thinking, but now if I don't think I choke.
• It takes a long time to eat and get dressed. Those things used to be automatic, like my OT (occupational therapist) Darin said. Now they take work!
• Doing school work and getting to sleep are a lot harder now. I can remember how to do my math, history, science and language arts but now I have to work and practice to be able to do them. Again, before.........automatic, now................not so much.
• School work before I didn't even have to try, it was a breeze! Now..........not so much. I will have to work at it to get good grades.
• Before I never thought about my back hurting but now it hurts all the time!
• If there are t00 many conversations and any background noise I can't follow what is being said. It is frustrating.
• Where before I could watch TV, do my homework and talk on the phone all at the same time. Sure miss those skills!
• As Darin (OT) says, I now have a guy's brain that can't multi-task at all!

As you can see I am different now but I can still do many things. All the memories that flashed before my eyes in the accident are the most important and I can still do ALL of them. I look forward to making many more new memories to add to flashback list.