One Week and Counting

Today was a bit out of the "normal" for me. I started my day at the school where I have spent most mornings Monday through Friday for more than 10 years. Parent Conferences are on Monday of this next week. It always seems like everything converges on conference weeks and this year is no different.

I felt so good to be in that place and to see those sweet first graders and all the staff that have become more family than friend through the years. I have known that they have been following this blog and I so glad! I haven't had time to be much of a friend to anyone throughout this time. I count myself so truly blessed to be surrounded by such loving supportive people and this is just one group. Love you guys!

By this time in one week from today, we will be home! I am so excited! Here is my list of happy dance reasons why I want to be home besides it meaning Maddi is doing fabulous:
1. HEARING THE SWEET SOUND OF MASON AND BROOKE DEBATING SOMETHING I KNOW NOTHING ABOUT!!!!!!
2. Sleeping in my own bed with my husband as my personal heater.
3. Not having to count input and output fluids all day long.
4. Being able to sit at my table for six and have most of the chairs filled.
5. Not having to wait for the washing machine or shower.
6. Being able to sleep through an entire night without disturbances.
7. Not having to get into a car if I don't want to.
8. Not having to wear wrinkled clothing.
9. Snuggling my dogs when ever I want.
10. Family Prayer together for real.
11. Sitting in my green chair where my feet touch the ground. There aren't any appropriately sized chairs for my legs except up in the children's playroom. I wanted to steal one!

Just as coming home has so many benefits and longed for perks, the law of opposition requires there to be a conflicting set of reasons for trepidation:
1. Knowing the harder work begins without all the experts.
2. Having to go grocery shopping again. I think I have forgotten how to do that.
3. Thinking of dinner without ever being hungry and ahead of time.
4. Introducing myself again to my kids at home.
5. Feeling rude when we can't see everyone who wants to visit.
6. Worried that people will not understand that Maddi isn't finished healing. She is just starting the next step on a long road.
7. Maddi" looking" so good that people will forget how fragile she still is.


I totally think the perks of going home are so much greater than any worries! I have had a lot of people mentioning that they want to come visit. We appreciate your support so much! Just remember that initially we were hoping Maddi would be home by March. One of the reasons she is able to come home is that she is handling stimulation so well.

That being said, being home is a whole new set of stimulation patterns. There is this feeling of complete relief that says," she has made it and she is home.". We feel that but we have spent so many hours learning about Brain Injury and what Maddi needs, that it is hard to forget the long road ahead. We would love to educate every one about Traumatic Brain Injuries but I am sure the following of the blog would completely drop off. There are so many aspects of healing and recovery that we are just beginning.

There are so many things that can contribute to over stimulation and other cognitive issues that we still have to limit things a lot. Please do not feel overlooked, disliked or unappreciated if you can't come see her. It is necessary for her to gain the best outcome in healing.

Here is how We decide who can come and visit:

• If you are family or really close friends.
• If you know Maddi personally and you were a part of her day to day life or spent a lot of time with her before.
• If you held a special place in Maddi life in the past (special teachers or leaders).

We are not trying to limit her friends, we know she has many friends at school that we don't really know. Please, don't think you are not Maddi's friend if you can't come right now, just know that she is still healing and needs some time.

Maddi's injuries were and are so severe that it was not expected that she would ever wake up, speak, be able to think, move, or learn. Let me say that again...  "She was was not expected to wake up!"  Well, she showed medical science didn't she.  The fact that she is doing all of these things is TRULY MIRACULOUS. Just know that we are walking down an unknown trail. This kind of recovery rarely ever happens and knowing her needs and what she will be able to do are all completely unknown right now.

Please be patient with us as we figure it out. Obviously Maddi isn't going anywhere and she will only continue to improve, if we are careful. She is rebuilding her memories and skills. Having too many vaguely familiar people coming to see her before she has cemented the most familiar in her mind her will cause confusion.

We have used photos to help remind Maddi of family members that she doesn't see very often. She has remembered and is even able to tell about specific events they have shared. This is a slow process! It isn't like they show on TV where people just wake up from a coma and are the same as before.

I am sure you can tell my biggest concern for coming home. We are so appreciative of all of the support and love that has been sent our direction. We would not have made it this far without all the prayers and support. Coming home feels like I now have to say NO to our cheering squad. That feels icky to me! I want to embrace each one of you in the deepest hug of gratitude. I am sure that time will come but it won't be next week and perhaps not for a bit longer.

Anyway, it is one week and counting! I don't have adequate moves to do the happy dance justice at all! I guess the most appropriate move would be one that includes a bended knee and a bowed head in humble gratitude for the mercy and miracles granted by a loving God.